It's been almost a year since we've last touched on my seemingly, irreversible "single status" and how I really didn't mind it, at all! Well... things changed... and then they went right back to being the same. Like, God's own auto-correct on my life. lol And, in the time between potential ex-boyfriends and actual exes, I learned a lot! Such as:
- the fact that I'm capable of loving and being loved despite my situation
- relationships are NEVER 50/50; sometimes it's beneficial and other times, a real pain in the ass!
- trust is key
- lies are useless
- your partner is a DIRECT reflection of YOUR decision-making skills
- be true to who and what you are from jump street (a lesson I've had to find out the hard way)
- 'tis truly "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" its an incredible feeling that I can't believe I slept on for so long... like, everyone should try it at least once.
But, enough of that sappy "lesson learned, my heart will go on" bullshit! Let's dive into why I've found myself, here, again & t-totally OK w/ it!
Being somebody's "boo" is a full-time job and NOT for the faint of heart! You're constantly worried about the likes and dislikes of someone else, meanwhile, stifling your own.-- With the one kid I was spending time w/, it was ALL about appearances. Clearly, a match made in hell, cuz I could give a good God DAMN about the approval of others. Shiiiiiiiddd... Only person I have to impress is you & sabes que? I had yo ass at "hello", sooOoo.... squeeze me.
The assumptions are the best!!! Judging a book by it's cover is the quickest way to missing out on something, pleasantly unexpected. I can't tell you how many times I've been told how "surprising" I am. I'm not 15 years old. I'm not a bitch. I'm not a saint. I enjoy nice things, but I'm not pressed by 'em. I have a bit of a potty mouth. Aaaannnddd, believe it or not (btw I find it endlessly hilarious that ppl actually DON'T), I do like black guys... I'm black! Just because I respond to your go-to pick up line of "Hey. How you doin'?" w/ a bougie "I'm well. And yourself?" Don't automatically assume I'm strictly down w/ the swirl. For fuck sake, that's just the way I speak!
And God bless the countless fuckers who mistook my kindness for weakness, forgetting, all the while, the "nigga" inside. LOL I can be all the lil white girl you want me to be, but fuck me over more times than I'm willing to allow, and I won't even BOTHER taking off my earrings. Also, not a huge fan of liars. However, to me, there's a particularly special spot in hell for those that lie and are BAD at it. Taking the time out to fib is bad, in and of itself. But LYING and not even putting forth the proper amount of energy to maintain, said lie, is TOTAL DISRESPECT. And a nigga ain't havin' it. *teehee*
I'm working w/ a lot in my life and sometimes, being unattached is the very best thing for me. I am well aware of the fact that my mouth may very well NEVER be ready to entertain the likes any man. I speaks the truth and am under no circumstance do I sugar coat. Psh... I ain't Mary Poppins! You better take this blunt lil black girl, as is. I'm not gonna fake amusement or pleasure for any guy. Otherwise, how will dude know when he's really got me?!
Finally! A list of extreme deal breakers if ever you find yourself in between my chronically flaring independence...
Turn all the way Off's
- Humorless jokes. Either be funny or quit wasting our time trying. "If I don't feel it, I ain't fakin'. No, no."
- Bad breath. Take the extra 5 seconds to brush your tongue!
- Bad manners
- Overly emotional lady men
- bitchassness
- bullshit
- egomaniacs
- douche lords
- gentlemen eager to "wife" my lil ass off the very 1st date
- legit trying to lotus flower bomb poetry slam my ass into talking to you via ANY social media network
- irresponsibility
- self loathing
- meanies
- judgmental ass plugs
- gingers
Just kidding about the last one... kinda. Last time, my commitaphobic ways were strictly due to commitaphobia. Now, I just know what I will and won't deal with. And if you don't like it, suck on these lil chinese nuts and keep it movin' cuz I ain't want ya lame ass anyway!!!
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