Skip to main content

"Appreciating My Art"... from the archives of my journal


Here, CHOKING on the dissatsfaction that is, my life; I'm nearly BLINDED by the overwhelmingly superfluous events that came together to create it. A DAUNTING collage of failures and missed attempts, lay atop the blueprint of my destiny. BOMBARDED by all I'd done wrong and completely set apart from my dream; I felt given no other choice but to stand watch as my helplessness RAPIDLY transformed to hopelessness. 

DOOMED, awaiting my now unchangeable fate, I'm UNKNOWINGLY quenched by drops of Love. Adorned along my trail of pain, lie tiny gems of BEAUTY.... Trinkets of peace, to get me through what lay in wait.

Being focused solely on all that felt wrong, made it impossible to catch all that was SO RIGHT! Counteracting the grudge the Universe seemed to have against me, was the favor of many. Murphy's Law had me, yet, God's will saved me!

It was NOW, that I realized there was much more going on for me, than against me. The number of wounds that plagued me had NOTHING on the endless amount of stitches sent to heal me. 

For every valley, there is a peak.... For every death, there's life.... For every ending, there, waits a new beginning... And for every tear shed, a burden is lifted!

I now know, that in order to interpret YOUR authentic self, you must dive, boldly, into YOUR  life's montage... For there, in lies the fine print. Simply Stated and Easily Translated: "Trouble can't last always." A PROMISE, potent enough to reawaken your once lifeless optimism. AND, in accepting thistruth, we are FREED from the illogically, hypothetical thoughts that kept us BOUND and BLINDED by the true beauty of our Cluttered Canvases..... Better known as: An Indescribable Masterpiece!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Now?!?!

Let's just begin. What the fuck?! What the ACTUAL FUCK?!??! <~~~ That has literally been the question on my mind for weeks now. *overstated, confused shrug* WTF?! My soul just seems like a punching bag at this point. My heart hurts, fatally! I feel like I can never begin to help you understand just what I go through/feel on a regular basis. I can say, please revert back to previous posts like, "My Burning Desire" and "The Frustration Mounts" ... but there are many frustrations that deal nothing with my illness... at least not completely.  My crippling fear of failure was here long before Lyme. I am afraid of fucking up, even in the slightest. I wear my pride on my sleeve, and if I try something and completely screw it up... Ohhhh , it'd be a loooonnnnnggg time before I tried that shit again!!!! That's why I'm afraid to commit... to anything!!! People, hobbies, hair lengths!!! I'm a mess and I've been a mess. I'm crazy....

31... A Birthday Story

Heyyy!!! My good golly it's been a while since I passed through here. The Lyme induced dyslexia has been at bay for a while now so I figured I say hi. I've missed you guys!!! Since I last posted, MY GAWD , have things in my life changed?!-- Today I turn 31 years old and my mind simply cannot conceive it! I'm blessed. Who knew this day would come other than God?? 'Cause I for sure damn didn't. *shrugs* (I know we can use emojis now but the asterisk life just feels right today. lol) I dunno if you can sense it yet but I come to you all today drentched in so much joy! Sincerely. And it feels kinda scary to say outloud. B/c every other time I THOUGHT I was headed in the right direction in life, Life's, petty ass would snatch me RIGHT back with the quickness. It was a nevering ending cycle. To the point that I was left with so much egg on my face, I was afraid of speaking positively over my own life. Scared of getting my feelings hurt once again due to ...

Chronically Single;)

I have many fears in life but my most intense and down right obvious fear of all is  monogamy . Being in a committed relationship, w/ one man, for an extended period of time scares the living daylights outta me! Seriously!!! It's not at all that I'm chronically unfaithful or anything like that. Actually, quite the opposite. I'm very loyal... almost to my own  detriment. It's just.... I guess... the underlying fear is me getting hurt.  We've previously discussed my downright refusal to ever be caught vulnerable &, to me, that's what being in a relationship is all about: Being able to be vulnerable w/ someone. And the idea of trusting someone not to take advantage of that vulnerability is taking some getting used to.  When it come to relationships I always revert back to past friendships. How I naively placed my trust and secrets w/ ppl only to be abandoned and judged. Ridiculed and betrayed. I used to see only the good in ppl and as a result, it mad...