Confessions of the Chronically Frustrated

It's been a while since I've been able to sit down and update you on my life. Now , I've had some incredible experiences lately that have, unfortunately, been overcome by endless amounts of frustration. I've never been so over a situation in all my life! And it sucks b/c it is my life!!! As a christian, I understand that suffering is a gift... but damn if I ain't spent 6 years searching for the receipt!!! As I've said before, this disease has dictated my every breath. My life is consumed by something I literally have no control over. Now , I understand that nothing grows without a lil rain, but I've never heard of roses blooming  through a flood, either! I'm tired. Although, completely out of my control, I continuously feel like a failure. And I hate to admit it, but I've pretty much given up on myself. I'm just waiting for this thing to win. For every step forward, I swear , I'm knocked 5 steps back. And I don't think I...

Here, CHOKING on the dissatsfaction that is, my life; I'm nearly BLINDED by the overwhelmingly superfluous events that came together to create it. A DAUNTING collage of failures and missed attempts, lay atop the blueprint of my destiny. BOMBARDED by all I'd done wrong and completely set apart from my dream; I felt given no other choice but to stand watch as my  helplessness  RAPIDLY transformed to  hopelessness .  DOOMED, awaiting my now unchangeable fate, I'm UNKNOWINGLY quenched by drops of  Love . Adorned along my trail of pain, lie tiny gems of BEAUTY.... Trinkets of peace, to get me through what lay in wait. Being focused solely on all that felt wrong, made it  impossible  to catch all that was SO RIGHT! Counteracting the grudge the Universe seemed to have against me, was the favor of many. Murphy's Law had me, yet, God's will  saved me ! It was NOW, that I realized there was much more going on for me, than against me. The ...