Confessions of the Chronically Frustrated

I'm tired.  Every part of me is over EVERYTHING!!! If it ain't one thing, than it's another and yet another and, just maybe, one more, all after that. I am spent!!! Idk how many times I can reach my breaking point and still smile. Hurt after hurt. After pain after pain. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. Year after YEAR.  Can you imagine?!? Suffering for 6 years!!! Each year, BEGGING that the next not be like the first. And it never is... b/c with each month that soon turns into another year, it get's worse. When would you give up?? On what day would you scream "Enough is ENOUGH!" ? Honestly, how long until you truly could not stand another second in misery? My life has not been my own since the moment this all began. It was arson, the way this disease rapidly set fire to every plan, goal, and dream I'd ever set. I watched them go up in flames and turn to dust. My heart broke! Not only was I given something I didn't want, ...

It's been almost a year since we've last touched on my seemingly, irreversible "single status" and how I really didn't mind it, at all! Well. .. things changed... and then they went right back to being the same. Like, God's own auto-correct on my life. lol And, in the time between potential ex-boyfriends and actual exes , I learned a lot! Such as: the fact that I'm capable of loving and being loved despite my situation relationships are NEVER 50/50; sometimes it's beneficial and other times, a real pain in the ass! trust is key lies are useless your partner is a DIRECT reflection of YOUR decision-making skills be true to who and what you are from jump street (a lesson I've had to find out the hard way) 'tis truly "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" its an incredible feeling that I can't believe I slept on for so long... like, everyone should try it at least once.  But, enough of that ...